Eurovision Song Contest 2021: A yawn fest with little surprises and we're headed for the final

I just can't get enough of this Lucas Hedges-looking dude with the cool dance moves.

On GOD was the second semi-final boring! There were FOUR good songs. They passed. The end. I dared say the first wasn't impressive but, in comparison, it was a blast. Let's recap, shall we? –WAIT! LOOK AT ME! CHECK OUT THE RIGHT SIDEBAR POLL. YOU MIGHT MISS IT LATER. SEE IT? VOTE!– Now you may proceed. We had four bangers, beginning with a quarantined Iceland that had to use their rehearsal tape. They were magnificent, as expected, and the new song has really come out from under last year's shadow.

I hope they get to compete live in the actual final.

Then I dropped dead for half an hour or so. Then we had Portugal and Bulgaria back-to-back in what was the most exciting part of the semi-final. Another comatose-like state. And then Switzerland. The three of them served vocals. Portugal transitioned from B&W to color; Bulgaria dazzled with her light-and-sand show; and Switzerland went all out with his arm-o-graphy.

Look at this cute bean go! He was cheering when they played our song; seemed to know the lyrics to it. Is he...? Y'know...

All four of them will crack the Top 10 if there's any justice in this world. The rest of the semi-final didn't even register. I couldn't even remember the rest of countries when they were announced as finalists, but Finland completed the nordic trio, alongside Norway and Sweden, that didn't deserve a place in the final, but got in anyway because Gaslight, Gatekeep, Glacier.

This way, Iceland, Switzerland, Bulgaria and Portugal join my other favorite songs from semi-final one (Ukraine, Cyprus, Azerbaijan, Belgium, Lithuania –pause– and Malta) to form a rather solid Top 10. I've also warmed up to France with more listenings, and I decided early on I dug Italy enough to accept their probable victory. Add to that Spain out of unflappable patriotism, and you have my top half for the final.

The odds seem to be in my favor, in most cases. 8 of them are predicted to end within the Top 10; two more to complete the top half; and then only three seem to be faltering towards the bottom: Azerbaijan (17th), Belgium (20th) and, you guessed it, Spain (26th). Dead last. Is that fair? Well, I might sound biased, but it isn't. Half the shit in this semi-final was, objectively, worse than what we have presented. This is prejudice! –He screamed into the night.

Portugal going from not qualifying to winning and placing better than us for several years is both a proud-brother moment and embarrassing as hell.

Even among my favorites, though, I don't necessarily agree with the likely placing they'll end up getting. Neither Italy or France would be my choice to win the title, but at least all those songs are getting some recognition in the form of votes, 12 points and the possibility to thank the camera while the arena cheers. We will get crickets. And Norwegian scorn. By the way, not only were the collaborators in that TV program rude as hell, but also, who are they to talk? Norway's song is godawful!

So it looks like I'll have to wait, one more year, for the last moment in the show, when the jury-per-country points have already been given and they give out the televote in one go, to hear Spain's name called, alongside a depressing amount of points that will stuck us in the bottom five, if not last place. Still, one never knows; the results are always the best part of the Eurovision final. I get such a RUSH!

See that? Remember this iconic moment? This never happens to us.

BUT in my blog, I we still get to call the shots, so you can go to the right sidebar, if you haven't yet, and vote for your favorite Eurovision song this year, thus deciding who should win, in your opinion. The poll will be open well past the performances on Saturday night (I should close it with the countdown they do, but I'll probably be distracted and forget until the next day). The results will be announced in the next entry, where I'll talk a bit about the funniest, most iconic bits from the final (I hope it's more first semi-final than second), and complain about the results. Until then...