I was not planning on writing about this film because, honestly, it's a whole mess, and we happen to be living in the first Eurovision-less year since the festival's foundation. I always thought my first post about Europe's best and most infamous festivity would be talking about some of its most iconic moments and commenting the songs in the weeks leading up to it. And then, boom!, Coronavirus.
But... I've seen people watching the Rachel McAdams and Will Ferrell movie (yes, in that order, as it should be) out of desperation for new content, and I thought: why not? It's not the best 2020 release I've seen (or even the best one I've watched since I began writing the blog) but those are either a bit too far away in time, or I saw them long after they dropped, so this can be a fun warm-up in preparation for more reviews to come, and I will type a more comprehensive compilation of what I've seen this year so far (great films like Shirley or The Lodge) later on this month.
Miss Scientology never disappoints
So... what is it about? For those of you unlucky non-Europeans, the Eurovision Song Contest is a music (and then some) competition held every year in the nation which won the previous time (2020 was gonna be Rotterdam, The Netherlands) in which every competing country sends a song performed by a singer, duo, grup or any other combination up to six people and then they vote for their favorite entry, giving from one to the now iconic 12 points, until a winner is chosen.
As a citizen of sunny Spain, we get to participate every year. And because our country contributes heavily (in the money department) to the European Broadcasting Union, we always advance directly to the final, instead of fighting for a spot in semis (lucky us; otherwise we wouldn't make it almost any year). What's our usual performance, you ask? Well...
But let's not dwell in the details because, let's be honest, no one involved in this film has spent more than five minutes researching what Eurovision actually is. They saw a video on twitter and thought: "What on the fuck is this?" And that is how this movie was born. To be fair, just by looking at the trailer, you could see this was trashy, but I'm at a point where my brain cells are dying and it was either this or the Steve Carell political comedy with a 46 Metascore, so I had to compromise.
Actually, lies. There was no way I was not watching this. And there are moments in which it's fun and worth the watch, too! The songs are absolutely what you could expect from a Eurovision contestant (seriously, the first song you hear, that is Eurovision), and Rachel McAdams EATS in absolutely all of them (but also, in her entire comedic performance, as we should expect from Miss Regina George and how much fun she was in Game Night).
This banger in question... coming from a Scandinavian or Eastern country, this would be a Top 10 right here.
But see, even here you can feel whoever was involved in thinking up this movie didn't know enough about the fest (or understand its trends well enough). You don't win Eurovision by serving vocals and bringing the house down, like at the end of every theatre-nerd wet dream. Not necessarily. The song that is actually selected to represent Iceland is a clear flop. It smells bottom 5 from the very beginning. Over-complicated stage props? Check. A powerhouse balad with some cringe-inducing background dancing? Check. A duo that doens't match at all? Check, check, check.
Which rarely matters because the film is not as worried with the ins and outs of the festival as it should, but it merely uses it to frame the story it wants to tell. And that story is not nearly as interesting, engaging, or fun. Ferrell fights with some Americans, telling them they're dumb and encouraging them to leave Iceland alone, but actually, this movie is not for Eurovision fans, but for the Americans that know very little about it.
And as such, the real story is about a traditionally odd straight couple which finds love against all odds. Yes, the moment in which past Eurovision contestants and winners show up is a nice one. And no one can argue against having Graham Norton commenting the whole show. But when you have such an exceptionally fun, culturally rich background, it's a crime to use it as a prop then try to make us believe Rachel McAdams is dying to bag Will Ferrell, especially considering how annoying he is in this movie.
Dan Stevens shows up, proving his career is based on accepting any offer they throw at him. And he has fun with it, but even his there-no-gay-people-in-Russia schtick feels like little and poorly executed, he couldn't even end up with the Fleabag guy he so clearly has had something with? Like that's really the first joke that came to mind to the writers when looking for a low hanging target and they still couldn't give it some satisfying payoff.
And even if you've decided you don't care about all of this and you're just trying to have fun, every time you begin to get into it, some annoying detail brings you right back out: the host city is in Ireland (which hasn't won the contest since 1996 and last year failed to reach the final), but Norton is the commentator; they give out points in the semifinals (which doesn't happen), then they leave out the BEST part of the whole thing, which is when the countries actually vote in the final, because Ferrell sacrifices his dream for McAdams' (that was sort of sweet) and they're disqualified; Spain is in the semi-finals, and it shows TWICE in the rankings, remaining dead last even as it gets points; we don't get to know the winner; have I said Ferrell is really annoying in this? The list is LONG.
And the ending... "Is it like the Voice?", ask the Americans. Ironic how Ferrell chastises them for that question when that ending is zero Eurovision and 100% America. The song is good, and depending on whether it came from Australia or the UK, it could've either been a bottom or top 5 (closer to the earlier one, considering Ferrell's backing vocals). But you know the gays would've kicked them out of the stage for attempting such a cheesy gimmick. No straights at Eurovision! Only Dan Stevens pretending to be straight while doing this:
And finally, we get to the most important part: Icelandic Demi Lovato and fisherman Pierce Brosnan— Wait! They're telling me Rachel and Will's little stunt ran too long and we're out of time! Oh! Such a shame! Maybe next time.
The final verdict: Not nearly gay enough.
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