Unreliable Narrators: 2020

Saturday, September 5, 2020

I'm Thinking of Ranking Charlie Kaufman: An I'm Thinking of Ending Things review, and then some

Reviews Saturday, September 05, 2020 0

V entura! You said you were going to write in this blog! You said the lack of content due to COVID-19 was not going to be an excuse! Where is the third entry on that Nicole Kidman filmography thingy you still need to finish? WELL, I LIED. I'm an unrealiable narrator, remember?

I will finish the Nicole Kidman filmography thingy, I promise, but for now, CHARLIE KAUFMAN IS BACK, BITCHES! I so wanted to write about his new film, I'm Thinking of Ending Things, partly because my only review so far has been about the Eurovision Neflix film, which was... not great. But then I saw it and I was like: Girl! What on the fuck is going on here?

Sooo, I thought about it, and since I've been doing a Kaufman marathon of sorts to prepare for its release, I've decided a raking of his work is much more on my wheelhouse: something overlong no one will read. Let's get started!

6º. ANOMALISA (2015)

I won't lie to you, Bryn. I hates it. I mean, I don't hate it, but it's depressing as hell, and the animation style is kinda uncanny valley-esque. It's a good place to say I much prefer Kaufman the writer than Kaufman the director, so far. Not because there's anything wrong with his directing style, but because I favour her early work. Anomalisa is ingenious, and has plenty to like, but even claymation can't help this project being the one I came out of the most willing to forget.

5º. SYNECDOCHE, NEW YORK (2008)

The beginning of Kaufman's difficulties when selling a script, Synecdoche, New York can be frustrating as all hell, and is the first of Kaufman's uneven directorial efforts. But within the trap that the writer-director sets up for himself (a never-ending project hell-bent on realism that will never pay-off) there is a certain charm that originates from the real relationships of the actors tasked with the unfathomable project. It doesn't entirely work, but it feels personal and sad in a way that doesn't leave you hollow. Also, Philip Seymour Hoffman is always a reason to watch, and Emily Watson and Samantha Morton's uncanny resemblance is a funny touch.

4º. I'M THINKING OF ENDING THINGS (2020)

Okay! So, did I know what was going on most of the time? No. But girl, I was living! I watched this yesterday with my sister, after a mid-afternoon Eternal Sunshine rewatch, and she hated it, with intensity. I can see Kaufman was aiming to be frustrating, and he both succeeds (it is frustrating) and fails to make something with some sort of emotional resonance, which is what's usually best about his clever and twisted scripts. So much so, that the success of this film for me could vary from scene to scene, as my opinion on it hung on how much I enjoyed to be wagged around by Kaufman. The end is a whole trip, and I'll have to read the book to really know what the hell I was supposed to understand, but I did enjoy those long, stretched, (for some) boring, conversations, partly because I like Buckley and Plemmons so much, and they're the kind of interesting actors who can pull them off. It isn't a film that will stay with me in an emotional way, but I finished it and decided I had enjoyed it, and so the trip in the dark was worth it.

3º. ADAPTATION. (2002)

Listen, you write a film, Meryl Streep is cast in it, and she's unable to destroy it; that's a straight four-and-a-half stars from me, I don't care. This screenplay is air-tight. I won't go into a deep analysis of how Meh fails in this (and every other) film, but the real reason to love this project is Nicolas Cage as a Kaufman-esque verion of Charlie Kaufman, trapped between extreem self-hate and self-indulgence, who turned a book adaptation of The Orchid Thief into the telling of a midlife crisis he was stuck in while dealing with writer's block, paired with a Hollywood-demanded ending filled with violence and pathos. This is Kaufman going all the way to the brink of obsession, doing a film mostly about a depressed, middle-aged man who masturbates and sweats excessively, then being able to pull back from the brink to deliver something resembling a normal story, which hasn't always been the case.

2º. BEING JOHN MALKOVICH (1999)

This was, until yesterday, my favorite Charlie Kaufman film, a way of putting it which isn't fair to his collaboration with Spike Jonze, with whom he also did Adaptation. Their styles gel, and the results are usually electrifying, but never more than in Being John Malkovich. The premise itself is weird as hell, and so in line with Kaufman's weird brand of story-within-the-mind madness, but the way it's executed and the places it dares to go to (especially towards the end) marks the beginning of Kaufman's no-fucks-given reign. Plus, Catherine Keener and Cameron Diaz DELIVER.

1º. ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND (2004)

"What do we do?" "Enjoy it."

Kaufman cinematic perfection. I rewatched this yesterday, before I'm Thinking of Ending Things, because the first time I saw it, I was too young, and sick and it ended and I was like WTF? And boy, it did not disappoint this time around. Charlie Kaufman is at his best when he manages to pair his excentricty and twisty scripts with a core rooted in human emotion, which, even within its depressing tone, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind has pools of. Kate Winslet delivers here some of her more insteresting work, but it's also further proof that Jim Carrey can do ANYTHING, comedy or drama, and was wronged by the Academy both with this and The Truman Show.

My main problem with it, the first time, was simply that I didn't understand its going-backwards structure, which seemed much easier to follow now. Once that is out of the way, the characters, their relationships and stories take central stage, and a certain sweet sadness takes over as it approaches its emotional gut-punch of an ending. Are Joel and Celementine wrong for each other? Are they doomed to make the same mistakes over and over, like Mary and Dr. Howard? Is their happiness together a ephemeral sunshine only possible when the slate is clean, when the mind is spotless?

We don't know, and neither do them, but by the end of their backwards journey down memory lane, they've decided to try again, and again, because there's nothing they can think of they don't like about each other, nothing they'll get bored of. And as I fought the tears after listening to both say hurtful things of one another, knowing that's where they could be headed to again, I thought that hope was beautiful.

And so here it ends! With a film that's smart, complicated, sad, hurtful, weird and crazy, like the best of Kaufman's are. I think, within his journey as a writer-director, I'm Thinking of Ending Things was a step in the right direction, maybe not his strongest in terms of threading that craziness together with emotion, but his most confident directorial effort so far.

As of today, Kaufman seems to be thriving again (or getting back into employment, which he has struggled with for many years, as his once-promising unmade projects can attest). He is working on two new scripts: an adaptation of The Memory Police, a 1994 novel by Yoko Ogawa, which I'll be reading shortly after I finish Dune (sigh) and I'm Thinking of Ending Things, and an HBO miniseries based on IQ 83, an Arthur Herzog 1978 novel about a virus that causes stupidity (so, like Coronavirus).

Both sound interesting and continue to explore his mind-obsessed niche, and I can't wait to see what he does with them now that Netflix's bottomless pockets seem to have taken an interest with him and the world is re-awakening to his particular brand of excellence. Maybe we'll be getting a Kaufman musical one day, who knows, but I'm sure it will be totally unique and completely-not-ever-been-done-before.

Sunday, June 28, 2020

Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga (Film Review)

Reviews Sunday, June 28, 2020 0

I was not planning on writing about this film because, honestly, it's a whole mess, and we happen to be living in the first Eurovision-less year since the festival's foundation. I always thought my first post about Europe's best and most infamous festivity would be talking about some of its most iconic moments and commenting the songs in the weeks leading up to it. And then, boom!, Coronavirus.

But... I've seen people watching the Rachel McAdams and Will Ferrell movie (yes, in that order, as it should be) out of desperation for new content, and I thought: why not? It's not the best 2020 release I've seen (or even the best one I've watched since I began writing the blog) but those are either a bit too far away in time, or I saw them long after they dropped, so this can be a fun warm-up in preparation for more reviews to come, and I will type a more comprehensive compilation of what I've seen this year so far (great films like Shirley or The Lodge) later on this month.

Miss Scientology never disappoints

So... what is it about? For those of you unlucky non-Europeans, the Eurovision Song Contest is a music (and then some) competition held every year in the nation which won the previous time (2020 was gonna be Rotterdam, The Netherlands) in which every competing country sends a song performed by a singer, duo, grup or any other combination up to six people and then they vote for their favorite entry, giving from one to the now iconic 12 points, until a winner is chosen.

As a citizen of sunny Spain, we get to participate every year. And because our country contributes heavily (in the money department) to the European Broadcasting Union, we always advance directly to the final, instead of fighting for a spot in semis (lucky us; otherwise we wouldn't make it almost any year). What's our usual performance, you ask? Well...

Notice how Portugal keeps scoring 12 and yet we stay at 0 points? Our power!

But let's not dwell in the details because, let's be honest, no one involved in this film has spent more than five minutes researching what Eurovision actually is. They saw a video on twitter and thought: "What on the fuck is this?" And that is how this movie was born. To be fair, just by looking at the trailer, you could see this was trashy, but I'm at a point where my brain cells are dying and it was either this or the Steve Carell political comedy with a 46 Metascore, so I had to compromise.

Actually, lies. There was no way I was not watching this. And there are moments in which it's fun and worth the watch, too! The songs are absolutely what you could expect from a Eurovision contestant (seriously, the first song you hear, that is Eurovision), and Rachel McAdams EATS in absolutely all of them (but also, in her entire comedic performance, as we should expect from Miss Regina George and how much fun she was in Game Night).

This banger in question... coming from a Scandinavian or Eastern country, this would be a Top 10 right here.

But see, even here you can feel whoever was involved in thinking up this movie didn't know enough about the fest (or understand its trends well enough). You don't win Eurovision by serving vocals and bringing the house down, like at the end of every theatre-nerd wet dream. Not necessarily. The song that is actually selected to represent Iceland is a clear flop. It smells bottom 5 from the very beginning. Over-complicated stage props? Check. A powerhouse balad with some cringe-inducing background dancing? Check. A duo that doens't match at all? Check, check, check.

Which rarely matters because the film is not as worried with the ins and outs of the festival as it should, but it merely uses it to frame the story it wants to tell. And that story is not nearly as interesting, engaging, or fun. Ferrell fights with some Americans, telling them they're dumb and encouraging them to leave Iceland alone, but actually, this movie is not for Eurovision fans, but for the Americans that know very little about it.

Rachel, you served in this, and you were so cute, too, but if we had to have a Eurovision movie with a man and a woman, we deserved one with these two.

And as such, the real story is about a traditionally odd straight couple which finds love against all odds. Yes, the moment in which past Eurovision contestants and winners show up is a nice one. And no one can argue against having Graham Norton commenting the whole show. But when you have such an exceptionally fun, culturally rich background, it's a crime to use it as a prop then try to make us believe Rachel McAdams is dying to bag Will Ferrell, especially considering how annoying he is in this movie.

Dan Stevens shows up, proving his career is based on accepting any offer they throw at him. And he has fun with it, but even his there-no-gay-people-in-Russia schtick feels like little and poorly executed, he couldn't even end up with the Fleabag guy he so clearly has had something with? Like that's really the first joke that came to mind to the writers when looking for a low hanging target and they still couldn't give it some satisfying payoff.

"There no gay people in Russia" but he shows up like this singing a song with four shirtless dancers who are practically grinding on him? Sure!

And even if you've decided you don't care about all of this and you're just trying to have fun, every time you begin to get into it, some annoying detail brings you right back out: the host city is in Ireland (which hasn't won the contest since 1996 and last year failed to reach the final), but Norton is the commentator; they give out points in the semifinals (which doesn't happen), then they leave out the BEST part of the whole thing, which is when the countries actually vote in the final, because Ferrell sacrifices his dream for McAdams' (that was sort of sweet) and they're disqualified; Spain is in the semi-finals, and it shows TWICE in the rankings, remaining dead last even as it gets points; we don't get to know the winner; have I said Ferrell is really annoying in this? The list is LONG.

The deserving winner

And the ending... "Is it like the Voice?", ask the Americans. Ironic how Ferrell chastises them for that question when that ending is zero Eurovision and 100% America. The song is good, and depending on whether it came from Australia or the UK, it could've either been a bottom or top 5 (closer to the earlier one, considering Ferrell's backing vocals). But you know the gays would've kicked them out of the stage for attempting such a cheesy gimmick. No straights at Eurovision! Only Dan Stevens pretending to be straight while doing this:

I mean, come on...

And finally, we get to the most important part: Icelandic Demi Lovato and fisherman Pierce Brosnan— Wait! They're telling me Rachel and Will's little stunt ran too long and we're out of time! Oh! Such a shame! Maybe next time.

The final verdict: Not nearly gay enough.